Traditions seldom change
i was young when i went to pick up my passport from the concerned department in shuwaikh. it was my first experience outside my environment or an encounter with the image of a woman, our customs and traditions in our society.
i was standing in a queue to receive my passport and someone in front of the line was shouting at the passport officer, an argument ensued and it would have developed into a fistfight was it not for the intervention of the d e p a r t m e n t head.
later i discovered the man was insisting to enter the distribution center and look for his mother’s passport and when one of the employees stopped him, he got angry. this was because the man did not want to tell the officer publicly the name of his mother in front of others who were there to collect their passports. this is because the man considered it a shame to utter the name of his mother in public.
the intervention of the senior official helped solve the problem amicably in line with our customs and traditions which made us better than the japanese and the germans.
the head of the department asked the man to write his mother’s name on a piece of paper so that he himself and no one else would look for it. he assured the man no one will hear the name of his mother and the problem was solved.
this happened half a century ago, but there are still many people who refuse to let others know the names of their wives or mothers, as if time has not changed. we still continue in our tradition and the evidence of this is another funny story which i consider sad one and was told to me by my expatriate friend.
this shows most of us have not changed much from within and we continue to adhere to outdated and strange customs and traditions.
the friend said when he came to kuwait 30 years ago he was curious because he did not read the names of girls, especially at the time of offering condolences to the children of the deceased. it was always the names of men.
he wondered why, because he was sure there must be daughters and when he asked a kuwaiti friend about this phenomenon, the latter laughed and told him about the customs and traditions of the kuwaitis. he went on to say even during condolences the names of the wives or daughters are not disclosed considering it shameful to take the name of women in public.
i remembered this story when i read an obituary which thanked men and women who offered condolences to the family of the deceased from a well-known family.
this is the first time such an advertisement was published, thanks to the woman, and this is undoubtedly a beautiful initiative that deserves to be followed by everyone by insisting to publish the names of the sons and daughters of the deceased not just male names.
it is time to stop feeling ashamed of mentioning the names of our daughters and mothers. they are the most beautiful flowers in our homes.
